How much of your life have you lived by 'default' and how much by conscious choice? How much of your life has been doing what 'everybody' would do faced with your choices would do? Some might argue that choice is an illusion, many of the prior events leading to those choices have been or are outside your control. For the sake of the belief of being in control of destiny I would assert that isn't the case. Yes, to a large extent there are 'defaults' in our lives, good, bad, depends. But 'default' is a choice as well, usually the easier, safer, least resistance one. .
My point is about realising the freedom of choice, and about giving fair treatment to them when we have the opportunity to choose.
I often wonder how I ended up doing what I do today, which is IT architecture, a field that I enjoy, and that has taught me much of what I know, including a few odd skills that pay the bills! Not that I studied it as a discipline in school, or when computers became big took to computing like a fish to pond or something like that. The system I grew up in assessed me reasonably good in quantitative aptitude and thus more of an engineering bent one might say. My Father, a doctor, was averse to the idea of me pursuing a medical profession or civil services, we did not have law or business in the family, not wonder what I did then - Engineering! That was my 'default', leading to the next 'default' of when having the choice of any subjects to pick from having ended up in the top 0.25% of the entrance test candidates, I picked what 'everybody' said was the best, and then when came to choice to work I started in an industry where 'everybody' joined at the time, IT. I was not alone, and there was the reassurance 'everybody' else doing what I was doing. Having entered a frame, choices opened up after, like where I would work, what sort of work I could do, within the reasonably large confines of what constitutes IT, which thankfully is diverse enough.
What stopped me from being a writer (not just random blogs), a politician, a doctor, a lawyer or business man. As I recollect my impressions of these roles at the time, its not a pretty picture I had or 'chose' to have -
Writer - a bit of a gamble, you might hit big or not struggle to pay the bills
Lawyer - too many lies, having to defend the criminals against your conscience
Politician - too corrupt, immoral
Civil service - politicised, corrupt, inefficient
Doctor - too much study, too little result at end of it
I am sure for those not in my profession would have something in their list like,
IT Engineer - socially inept nerd, confined to stare at a 11-22 inch screen for a third or more of his conscious life (which I can assure is not the case and is just a choice some engineers make).
When light shining on to the mind was coloured by the media, opinions at the dinner table, from friends, stereotypes no wonder the thoughts had acquired the colour of the choice they were going to make.There was a degree of objectivity to my choice, but there was also the overwhelmingly unfair dismissal of all the other options on the table.
There could have been another way to look at them,
Writer - creative fulfilment, chance to influence with ideas
Lawyer - opportunity to serve, to drive justice and to earn good money
Politician - to serve, to reform
Civil service - prestige, power to reform
Doctor - to care and cure, even had a few odd genes to that effect
When in the relative unknown and easy to influence, is it not easy to defend against the onslaught of opinions, to separate fact from bias. That is where the 'defaults' start shaping up and before we know have narrow ourselves down to very few choices.
Happily the good news is that, there is still a choice. The routes will be different to now than earlier, but I am sure they are there, if I want to. Maybe not a doctor still, I will be wilted and treating myself by the time I get there.
More importantly however as a parent today I need to think what influences am I serving up consciously or subconsciously on my children and am I protecting them from influences that can constrain them. I have a 'powerful' role here and I need to ensure that my children as they grow acquire facts of choices in what they can do, an early realisation of their inner strengths, so they can decide objectively and unfettered by opinions of others. And that when it is time for them to choose, their objectivity and knowledge stands up with conviction and helps them make an objective, fair choice. Its an experiment and if I succeed who knows, I might write a book with this post as my foreword, titled 'By default'!
My point is about realising the freedom of choice, and about giving fair treatment to them when we have the opportunity to choose.
I often wonder how I ended up doing what I do today, which is IT architecture, a field that I enjoy, and that has taught me much of what I know, including a few odd skills that pay the bills! Not that I studied it as a discipline in school, or when computers became big took to computing like a fish to pond or something like that. The system I grew up in assessed me reasonably good in quantitative aptitude and thus more of an engineering bent one might say. My Father, a doctor, was averse to the idea of me pursuing a medical profession or civil services, we did not have law or business in the family, not wonder what I did then - Engineering! That was my 'default', leading to the next 'default' of when having the choice of any subjects to pick from having ended up in the top 0.25% of the entrance test candidates, I picked what 'everybody' said was the best, and then when came to choice to work I started in an industry where 'everybody' joined at the time, IT. I was not alone, and there was the reassurance 'everybody' else doing what I was doing. Having entered a frame, choices opened up after, like where I would work, what sort of work I could do, within the reasonably large confines of what constitutes IT, which thankfully is diverse enough.
What stopped me from being a writer (not just random blogs), a politician, a doctor, a lawyer or business man. As I recollect my impressions of these roles at the time, its not a pretty picture I had or 'chose' to have -
Writer - a bit of a gamble, you might hit big or not struggle to pay the bills
Lawyer - too many lies, having to defend the criminals against your conscience
Politician - too corrupt, immoral
Civil service - politicised, corrupt, inefficient
Doctor - too much study, too little result at end of it
I am sure for those not in my profession would have something in their list like,
IT Engineer - socially inept nerd, confined to stare at a 11-22 inch screen for a third or more of his conscious life (which I can assure is not the case and is just a choice some engineers make).
When light shining on to the mind was coloured by the media, opinions at the dinner table, from friends, stereotypes no wonder the thoughts had acquired the colour of the choice they were going to make.There was a degree of objectivity to my choice, but there was also the overwhelmingly unfair dismissal of all the other options on the table.
There could have been another way to look at them,
Writer - creative fulfilment, chance to influence with ideas
Lawyer - opportunity to serve, to drive justice and to earn good money
Politician - to serve, to reform
Civil service - prestige, power to reform
Doctor - to care and cure, even had a few odd genes to that effect
When in the relative unknown and easy to influence, is it not easy to defend against the onslaught of opinions, to separate fact from bias. That is where the 'defaults' start shaping up and before we know have narrow ourselves down to very few choices.
Happily the good news is that, there is still a choice. The routes will be different to now than earlier, but I am sure they are there, if I want to. Maybe not a doctor still, I will be wilted and treating myself by the time I get there.
More importantly however as a parent today I need to think what influences am I serving up consciously or subconsciously on my children and am I protecting them from influences that can constrain them. I have a 'powerful' role here and I need to ensure that my children as they grow acquire facts of choices in what they can do, an early realisation of their inner strengths, so they can decide objectively and unfettered by opinions of others. And that when it is time for them to choose, their objectivity and knowledge stands up with conviction and helps them make an objective, fair choice. Its an experiment and if I succeed who knows, I might write a book with this post as my foreword, titled 'By default'!
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