Glossary : बैल is Hindi for Bullock
(Standard disclaimer: This is a fictious writeup. All resemblance to people, places, these times, issues and things is purely coincidental)
Pumpkin Times, Bangalore
In a move, that speaks of the far sight of our Government, the following plan has been mooted by the Government of Karnataka that at once eases out the problem of commute to the new International airport cost effectively, promises employment generation on a large scale, and in the long run promises to raise the water table levels of the parched Devanahalli region where at present no widespread habitation is feasible
The plan starts by mooting as follows,
The Government has proposed a dedicated bullock corridor along the National highway linking Hyderabad and branching into Bangalore along the Bellary road, Outer Ring Road, and then further on to Tumkur Road and Hosur road.
The dedicated corridor will run in parallel lanes to the existing traffic, with the difference that the divine road-usage rights exercised by cattle and politicians in India will empower the bullocks to governance free movement along the stretch.
This without a pun is expected to ensure a smooth albeit a little slow passage for all future passengers of the BIAL.
The Government is planning to hire the services of a world reknown firm in buggy design from Italy.
The contraption that will be attached to the bullocks will have capacity to carry 6 passengers at a time and 10 pieces of luggage.
The route chart will be published shortly by the newly formed BMBTC (Bengaluru Metrolpolitan Bullock Transport Corporation). There are expected to be numerous stops along the way, so the city will be catered well.
Reinforcing the experience that the passengers are expected to enjoy, will be the paratha with fresh morning butter, lassi as breakfast to the early morning commuters.
The typical bio-breaks required by the bullocks are expected to enhance this further besides contributing to developemnt of some greenery along Bangalores dirt and dust paved highways.
What makes the plan even more viable is the fact that, the cattle will ply in two directions, during the night time, from the cargo section of the airport, bringing back the precious international freight into the city on its way from the Airport to the city.
Post their ablutions and regurgitations the bullocks will be fresh to take the early morning passenger load to the BIAL.
The commute is expected to take about 3-6 hours, but due to the steady nature of commute, the positive effects on clean air and nominal charge the passengesr are expected to be more than happy.
The farmers owning these bullocks have demanded an exclusive rights to cargo movement with the Government, and the Government has kindly consented this concession.
Also for the next 3 years it has been agreed that the bullocks will be sourced only from Devanahalli region so as to provide wide scale bullock re-employment in the wake of Devanahalli region's parched nature and agricultural infeasibility.
Payment towards these services can be offered through cash, monthly passes or fodder.
Noted that payment by fodder will be exempt from service tax and various cesses. The reason is that in the process of the large scale bullock employment, the bullocks are expected to be much more well fed than they were prior to BIAL. As a result they are expected to contribute well to the arability of the land through their biological endowments such as cowdung.
The Government is expecting Industry associations along the IT Corridor to come forward and demand for chartered arrangements soon as the service is announced.
But for now the Government is keeping further details of proposal tightly wrapped at the moment, and intends to declare this as a gift to the citizens of Bangalore one day before the opening of the new Airport, and thus also have the last laugh.
More details shortly. Reporting from Devanahalli on behalf of Pumpkin Times, this is your humble Bangalorean.
